


Keep him curious

by Royalsciencenerd



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Alchemy, Angst, Did I Mention Angst?, Emotional Constipation, a dash of fluff, but mostly angst with a side of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royalsciencenerd/pseuds/Royalsciencenerd
Summary: Quirin and Ulla have differences of opinion when it comes to parenting their 3-year-old son.Aka Varian is a precocious toddler with a natural curiosity, and Quirin can't deal.... Ulla makes him.
Relationships: Quirin & Varian (Disney), Quirin/Ulla (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms), Ulla & Varian (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 55





	Keep him curious

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to BeckyArteest2004 who said I should think about writing a fic comparing Quirin and Ulla's parenting styles. I'm paraphrasing, but basically they said that Quirin and Ulla both love Varian, but have different ways of showing that love- Quirin being the stern disciplinarian, with Ulla being the gentle, but firm comforter. I saw that request and was like "yup, I can do that. That's a good opportunity to write some fluff too, since I've been mostly writing angst lately." But when I said "fluff," my brain heard "angst." I'm so sorry.... 
> 
> Just to be clear, I have skimmed the character designs and plot for "Varian and the 7 Kingdoms", and read a few fics, but that's about it. If you haven't read it, it's not going to be a problem, but that's where I got Varian's mom's name from, and some other plot details. But you don't need to know 7K stuff to read this- like I said, I don't even know that much. 
> 
> Enjoy this depressing fic that was originally supposed to be happy! My bad....

“Alright…. Are you ready?”

“Yes momma, yes! Do the magic! Do the magic!” Varian giggled as he waited anxiously for her to start the reaction.

“Not magic, Varian…. Science.” Ulla smiled down at her son. The 3-year-old was eagerly bouncing up and down on his toes, an excited grin on his face.

Varian’s face scrunched up at the correction. “Not magic? But it’s special!”

Ulla chuckled. “Science can be special too. You’ll find that many incredible things can be achieved through science Varian. The difference between science and magic is not how special it is, but how we explain what happens. There is a logical flow of reasoning in science, whereas magic takes a little more faith.”

Varian’s face scrunched further in confusion. “I don’t get it.”

Yeah, that explanation was a little complex for a 3-year-old, Ulla thought. “How about I just show you?”

Varian’s face lit up once again. Ulla grabbed the vinegar and poured it into the baking soda, water, dish soap, and food dye mixture. Within seconds the miniature volcano had erupted, much to Varian’s delight. Jumping up and down, clapping his hands, Varian couldn’t stop giggling.

“It worked! Momma, it worked! Did you see it? It exploded! It-it went whoooooossssssshhhhhh,” Varian mimed a giant explosion, waving his arms in a giant arc.

“Yes Varian, and that’s all thanks to science. The baking soda is a base which combines with the acidic vinegar to make water, and releases carbon dioxide in the process as a gas. Hence the eruption.”

Varian smiled. “Science makes stuff explode!”

Ulla laughed. “Only sometimes Varian. We usually try to make sure things do NOT explode. That way we stay safe.”

Varian nodded. “But this explosion’s okay?”

Ulla smiled at her son. “Yes, Varian. This explosion is safe.”

Just then Quirin came into the kitchen. “What’s this I’m hearing about explosions?” He looked at his wife in concern.

“Daddy!” Varian ran over, wrapping his arms around his father’s leg in a hug. Bending down to scoop up his son, Quirin turned to Ulla, a questioning look on his face.

Varian launched into a dramatic retelling of the baking soda volcano they had just created. “And then dad, it-it went whooooooooossssssshhhh. But don’t worry- momma said this explosion was safe. It was SO COOL! There was just a cup and then whoooooooosssssshhhhhh!” The second time Varian pantomimed the explosion, he accidentally whacked his father in the face.

“Ow!” Quirin recoiled at his son’s slap.

“Oops. Sorry Daddy,” Varian apologized.

Quirin nodded. “That’s okay, son. Just remember what I told you about being careful, and paying attention to your surroundings.”

Varian bobbed his head up and down in agreement. “Yes, daddy….” Varian wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. Ulla smiled at the two as she began to move around cleaning up the experiment.

All of a sudden Varian’s head shot up. “I forgot to tell you the best part!”

Quirin smiled at his son. “And what’s that Varian?”

Varian glanced around conspiratorially before leaning in to whisper in his dad’s ear. “Momma said that it’s science. NOT magic. It’s more special than that.”

Quirin smirked. “Oh is it now?”

Varian nodded. “Science is the best! I wanna be a scientist when I grow up. And then I can make stuff explode every day!”

Quirin looked at his son in alarm, before glancing over to Ulla.

Ulla came over and took her son from her husband. “Remember what I said about explosions, Varian?”

Varian’s smile faltered. “We only make them when they’re safe.”

Ulla hugged her son to her chest. “Exactly.”

Quirin frowned, but refrained from commenting. Science was his wife’s expertise, and he trusted her judgement. Although he did have concerns over Varian’s newfound interest in explosions. Well, it was probably just the excitement of something new. His son was naturally curious after all. This fascination with explosions was just a phase. It’d blow over eventually. He would make sure of it.

~~~~~~

Ulla had gone to the market to get supplies the morning of “the incident.” Quirin was at home, playing with his son when a villager came knocking at their door. Apparently his cow was calving, and he was desperately in need of assistance.

Quirin frowned, turning to look at his son who was playing with his toy knights on the floor. He didn’t want to leave his son, but he had a responsibility as the leader of Old Corona. Varian seemed too preoccupied with his toys to even notice the villager- Quirin was certain he could just step out to help for a few minutes.

Stepping back inside quickly, Quirin kneeled down in front of Varian. “Listen son. I have to go help Walter with his cow, but I’ll be right back. Just keep playing with your toys, okay?”

Varian nodded, barely looking up. “Okay daddy.”

Quirin stood up, ruffling his son’s hair. “Alright, son. I’ll be back soon.”

~~~~~~

Varian smiled as he looked over the aftermath of his toy knights’ battle. The King from the eastern land of Knighthoodom had easily prevailed over the duke of Armorvale. Sitting up from where he was laying on the floor, Varian frowned. His dad still wasn’t back yet.

Setting up his knights again, Varian decided they should go on a quest this time. Yes, a quest to um… um… save the princess of um… Ullania. That would work. Unfortunately, it only took 15 minutes for the knights to rescue the princess. Stupid knights…. Now he was bored again. Where WAS his dad? He’d been gone FOREVER! (In reality he had only been gone 45 minutes, but Varian was a curious 3-year-old with no patience- 45 minutes was an ETERNITY).

Varian frowned. He was so bored. What could he do to pass the time until his dad got back? He’d already played with his knights, maybe he could build something with his blocks? Nah, he did that yesterday…. He could draw? Momma said he had a “natural artistic ability” whatever that meant…. He could make her another picture.

Varian sighed. All these ideas sounded lame. He’d done all that already. Shaking his head, he frowned. There had to be something fun he could do….

The moment the idea popped into his head, Varian couldn’t get it out. It would just be so much fun. And his momma had said it was safe after all. Varian giggled. He was about to do science.

Gathering the water, dish soap, baking soda, and vinegar, Varian climbed up onto a chair next to the kitchen table. He made the baking soda mixture exactly as his mom had and was about to pour the vinegar when he remembered- he needed color!

Sure he could make the explosion without the color, but colors were more fun. Climbing down from the chair, Varian set about the kitchen looking for the food dye. After a 10-minute search yielded no results, Varian flopped down on the ground pouting. He finally had a good idea for something fun to do, and he couldn’t even do it properly.

Yet another brilliant idea popped into his head. His dad had been helping one of the villagers paint their daughter’s room blue earlier in the week. And lucky for him, he knew where his dad kept the paint stored. Grinning, Varian picked himself off the ground before racing to grab the paint.

Climbing back up onto the kitchen chair, Varian scooped a spoonful of the paint into the baking soda mixture. Satisfied that his explosion would now be awesome and full of color, Varian set the paint aside and grabbed the vinegar.

Leaning over the volcano- he wanted to see how it erupted up close- he gently poured the vinegar into the cup. And then he screamed….

~~~~~~

Quirin smiled as the newborn calf lay next to its mother. The birthing process had taken longer than expected- there’d been complications- but an hour and a half later, they had a newborn calf and a healthy mother.

The villager thanked him, and Quirin started for home. Hopefully Varian was still playing with his knights, or had found another way to entertain himself. Quirin still felt bad about leaving him alone, but he couldn’t have brought him with him. He would have just gotten in the way.

Quirin was maybe 20 feet from his house when he heard his son’s scream. Without hesitating, Quirin burst into a run, slamming open the door to his house.

“VARIAN?” he called frantically. The sight that greeted him shocked him. His son, sprawled on the floor, blue streaking his face and hair, clutching at his eyes as he screamed.

Dropping to his knees, Quirin examined his son. What to do? What to do? Making a quick decision, Quirin scooped up his son, bringing him over to the sink. Gently tilting Varian’s head back, Quirin turned on the faucet, allowing the water to run over the top of his son’s head. Varian continued to rub at his eyes, shrieking in pain.

“VARIAN! VARIAN, LISTEN TO ME! STOP RUBBING YOUR EYES- IT’LL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE!” Quirin pleaded with his son.

Varian was in too much pain to listen. His eyes burned like someone had lit them on fire.

Adjusting his hold on his son, Quirin reached up to grab Varian’s arms, pinning them down with his own. Varian squirmed trying to get free, and continued to scream.

Quirin gently brought his right hand up to his son’s face and began scrubbing at whatever this blue substance was Varian had on his face. Varian continued to squeal.

“Shhhhh, shhhhh, Varian. It’ll be okay. I got you. We just have to get this stuff off your face and out of your eyes. Shhhhhh…. It’s okay,” Quirin said, attempting to comfort his son.

If Varian heard him, he did not acknowledge him. Quirin managed to clean most of the blue substance from Varian’s face and hair, but his eyes were still bright red with irritation. What to do? What to do? Quirin wished he had paid more attention to his wife’s science safety lectures. He had listened attentively, but it’s not like he memorized every word she said. After all, he’d never thought it would apply to him.

Trying to think back, Quirin frowned. What did she say to do if someone got chemicals in their eye? Run them under water…, but for how long? It was definitely a long time- Quirin remembered being surprised by that. Deciding 15 minutes would work, he gently supported Varian’s head as he tilted it back under the faucet.

Varian’s screams continued, and he began to thrash as Quirin forced him to hold his eyes under the flow of the water. 15 minutes later, Quirin shut off the water, and wiped his son’s face- the only sound now being Varian’s hoarse whimpers as he had screamed himself out it seemed.

Clutching his son to his chest, Quirin wrapped his arms around him. Varian buried his face in his dad’s shoulder, continuing to release pitiful whimpers. Quirin rested his chin on his head, stroking his now wet hair, and whispering words of comfort. Within minutes, Varian was fast asleep- overwhelmed as he was by this whole ordeal.

Quirin carried him to his room, laying him down gently on his bed, and pulling the covers up to his chin. Stroking his son’s hair out of his face, Quirin couldn’t help but notice his son’s hair now had a freshly dyed blue streak in it that hadn’t washed out. Quirin sighed. How was he going to explain this to Ulla?

~~~~~~

“I’m home!” Ulla called as she came into the house. Setting her bag of supplies down, she frowned when no one answered. Moving to the kitchen, she frowned as she saw what seemed to be the remains of a baking soda volcano. Why was the coloration so blue?

Frowning, she called out again, “Quirin?!? Varian?!?”

As she called them, a disheartened Quirin came trudging into the kitchen, eyes downcast.

“Oh there you are! Where’s Varian? I got some hot cocoa as a treat while I was out, and I was thinking- Quirin what’s wrong?”

Quirin looked up to meet his wife’s eyes, and Ulla gasped at the pain and fear in them.

“VARIAN!” Ulla made to dash towards his room, but her husband caught her.

“He’s okay, Ulla. I think…. Just shaken up. He’s resting.”

Ulla nodded, tears filling her eyes. “What happened?” she whispered.

Quirin sighed. “I’m not quite sure. I went to go help Walter with his cow, and when I came back it was to Varian screaming and covered in a blue substance. I was hoping you could help me figure out what happened,” Quirin stated, gesturing to the science experiment gone wrong on the table before them.

Ulla turned to the table and examined its contents. From what she could see, it seemed Varian had tried to replicate their baking soda volcano experiment from a week prior. Based on what her husband said, it had not gone well. Speaking of her husband….

“YOU LEFT HIM ALONE?!?” Ulla shrieked, whirling around to face Quirin. Well at least he had the decency to look chagrined.

“Ulla, I had to. Walter needed my help, and as the leader of Old Corona, I have a responsibi-”

“AND YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO OUR SON!!!!” Ulla cried. “Our 3-year-old son!!!! What were you thinking?!?”

“Ulla, I couldn’t take him with me, and-”

“So drop him off at the neighbors. Ask Mrs. Schmidt to watch him. Quirin, I love you, but that was unbelievably STUPID!!!! Varian could have been seriously hurt! What were you thinking?!? Oh, wait… you weren’t. Because no person in their right mind would EVER leave their 3-year-old son alone!!!!”

Quirin cringed under the weight of his wife’s fury. “I know. I messed up. I’m sorry.”

Ulla felt her fury dissipate as she saw the tears in her husband’s eyes. 

“I was so scared Ulla. I’m still so scared. I never should have left him alone. The screaming, it was….” Quirin shuddered.

Ulla pulled her husband into a hug. “It’s okay.” Pulling back she dug a finger into his chest. “But we’re never leaving him alone ever again. Not on my watch.”

Quirin nodded, and Ulla turned back to inspect the remains of Varian’s experiment once more. 

“I held his head under the faucet to get the gunk out of his eyes for 15 minutes,” Quirin muttered. “I don’t know if that’s long enough or-”

“That’s good,” Ulla replied, bending over to examine the volcano. “Do you recognize this color blue? It’s not the right color for food dye.”

Quirin followed his wife’s gaze, examining the blue residue closely. “It looks kind of like- but no it can’t be….”

“Can’t be what?” Ulla asked.

“That looks like the paint I put away last week. But I hid it in the very back of the storage shed. I made sure Varian wouldn’t be able to find it.”

“Well it appears he did,” Ulla replies bitterly. 

Quirin sighed. “Well that would explain the hair streak….”

“THE WHAT?!?”

~~~~~~

When Varian woke a couple of hours later, it was to the sound of tense whispers.

“Quirin, you just have to be more careful. Varian is naturally curious. He could have been seriously hurt.”

“Me?!? You’re the one encouraging him!!!! Might I remind you who showed him how to make the explosion in the first place?!?”

“It was a controlled experiment with adult supervision. I didn’t expect him to try to replicate it alone, because I never expected you to LEAVE him alone.”

Varian quietly crept out of bed and down to the kitchen, eavesdropping on his parents’ conversation.

“Ulla, I know you love science and want to share that with our son, but HE’S NOT READY! You’re putting him in unnecessary danger.”

“Would you rather squash our son’s curiosity for good? Have him spend the rest of his life in fear? What are you so afraid of?!?”

“Daddy?” Varian’s voice broke through the tense atmosphere. “Momma, what’s going on?”

Ulla shot one more stern glare at her husband before plastering a smile on her face. 

“Oh it’s nothing honey. Your father and I were just having a discussion. Nothing to worry about…. Right sweetie?” Ulla pointedly glared at Quirin.

“Um… right. Just a small talk. How’s your eyes, son?”

Varian glanced between his parents in confusion. “Fine, I guess.”

Ulla knelt down in front of her son, examining him closely. His eyes still had a red tinge to them, but that was to be expected. “Do they still hurt?”

Varian bit his lip, but nodded slowly. “A little….”

Taking his hand, Ulla gently led him to sit at the table. “Why don’t you sit down while I make something to help your eyes feel better, okay?” 

Varian sat at the table, wringing his hands. Ulla made up a quick batch of eye drops, and gently tilting her son’s head back, dropped them in. 

“Better?” she asked. Varian nodded, but continued wringing his hands. Before she could ask what was wrong though, he blurted out his question.

“Am I in trouble?”

“Yes,” Quirin said at the exact same time as Ulla said, “No.” His parents shared a look, but Varian’s vision was still too blurry from the eye drops to tell what it was. 

“What your mother means is-”

“That you’ve already been through enough pain as it is, so I-WE believe you have learned your lesson. No more experimenting without supervision.”

Varian nodded. No argument there….

Quirin sighed. “Well if that’s all, I guess I’ll start making dinner.”

Ulla kept her eyes on her son. “Sounds good, dear.”

And that was the end of it. Or so Varian thought….

~~~~~~

A month later and it was time for the apple harvest. Which meant the family found themselves out in the orchards working together to collect the fruit. 

Quirin was up on the ladder picking apples, which he then tossed down to Ulla who handed them to Varian to place in the baskets. Quirin had tried tossing the apples directly to his son so his wife could focus on moving the baskets, but quickly realized the boy had zero hand-eye coordination.

Around noon they stopped for lunch, having a picnic in the middle of the orchard. A nice fall breeze was blowing, and Quirin couldn’t help but smile as he watched the other families moving around the orchard. Everything was as it should be.

That is, until he saw Varian attempting to climb the ladder.

“Varian, no!” Quirin yelled, marching over and scooping his son off the ladder, and placing him back on solid ground. “You could hurt yourself.” 

“But daddy…. I wanna help!” Varian pouted.

Quirin sighed. His son, who was so clumsy he tripped over his own feet, wanted to climb up a 30-foot ladder…. Yeah…. Not gonna happen….

“You are helping son. You’re doing a great job of placing the apples in the baskets.”

“But I wanna do more. I can do it!”

“No Varian you can’t. It’s not safe!”

“But dad-”

“Enough Varian. End of discussion.”

“What’s going on here?” Ulla asked as she walked over from where she’d been chatting with one of the other moms. 

“Daddy won’t let me help!”

Ulla quirked an eyebrow at her husband.

“He wants to climb up the ladder. I said ‘no,’” Quirin stated firmly.

“Varian, why don’t you come help me sort the apples?” Ulla asked.

Varian sighed, once again pouting. “Okay.”

The next hour passed by uneventfully as Quirin climbed to the top of the trees and collected the fruit there. That is, until he heard a voice directly below him. 

“Can I help daddy?”

Quirin nearly jumped at the voice- only his Brotherhood training kept him from falling 30 feet to the hard ground below.”

“VARIAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?!?” Quirin felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. His son was up here…. With him…. 30 feet in the air…. His super clumsy, 3-year-old son…. Ulla was going to kill him….

“I’m helping,” Varian responded, oblivious to his dad’s fear. 

Quirin took in a shaky breath. He could yell at his son later. Back when they were both on solid ground, and not at risk of falling to their deaths. 

“Varian, listen to me closely. I’m going to climb down around you so that way I’m below you, okay?”

Varian nodded. “Okay daddy.”

Quirin slowly began to climb down, careful to maneuver himself around his son. When he finally was below him, he let out a breath of relief. Now worst case scenario, he could catch his son…. Probably…. Hopefully….

“Alright son. Now we’re going to climb down… slowly.”

“But dad, I just got up here,” Varian whined. “I wanna help.”

“VARIAN WE ARE NOT ARGUING ABOUT THIS! START CLIMBING DOWN NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL CARRY YOU TO THE BOTTOM!!!!”

“Yes, sir,” Varian whimpered, and began to slowly descend down the ladder.

When they finally made it to the bottom, Quirin knelt in front of his son and grasped his arms. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!? YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED?!? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!?”

Varian burst into tears. Ulla came running over from where she was sorting apples. 

“What happened?” she asked.

“YOUR SON ALMOST GOT HIMSELF KILLED THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!!!! HE CLIMBED 30 FEET UP INTO THAT TREE!”

Varian was sobbing by now. Tearing free of his father’s grasp, he ran through the orchard. 

Ulla turned to follow him, but not before glaring at Quirin. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?” With that, she chased after her son.

What is wrong with you? Quirin flinched. That was the exact question he’d just asked his son. The realization stung, and he was overcome with regret. He was just so worried for Varian- he didn’t even think, he just reacted. Quirin sighed. He would have to apologize to his son. His son who probably hated him. 

Gathering up their baskets and loading them in the cart, Quirin turned to head back towards the house. Ulla would find Varian and calm him down. Chasing after them would probably only make the situation worse. He seemed to be really good at that- making things worse. 

He just didn’t understand his son. Why wouldn’t he listen? Didn’t he know he just wanted to protect him? That he wanted what’s best for him?

Quirin sighed. Perhaps his son was just too young. Perhaps he would learn to listen with time. Until then, Quirin would do everything he could to make sure his son didn’t get hurt. No harm would ever come to Varian as long as he’s around. He’d make sure of it!

~~~~~~

Ulla found her son hiding in the crook of one of the older trees at the far edge of the orchard. She made sure to announce her presence by purposefully snapping the twigs underfoot, and yet when she kneeled in front of her son, he still flinched.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

Varian buried his tear-soaked face in his knees. When Ulla made to ask again, he finally spoke.

“Daddy hates me.”

Ulla froze. “What?”

“Daddy HATES me,” Varian repeated, more adamantly this time. 

“Your father doesn’t hate you,” Ulla stated gently, moving to sit next to her son.

“Yes, he does,” Varian whined.

Ulla sighed. “Your father doesn’t hate you Varian. He loves you very much.”

“Then why did he yell at me?” Varian peaked out from behind his knees, fixing his mother with a skeptical gaze.

Ulla sighed yet again. “Varian, your father loves you very much. So much, that the thought of you being in any danger terrifies him. While I don’t think he should have been so harsh, he was right. You shouldn’t have disobeyed.”

Varian nodded. That made sense. There was just one thing that bothered him. 

“Momma, what’s wrong with me?”

Ulla stares at her son. “Nothing. Why would you even ask that?”

Varian shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t know.”

Ulla took one look at her son and knew the answer. “It was your father. He asked you that.” It wasn’t a question. 

Varian nodded. Ulla felt her blood boil. Quirin and her were going to have a talk.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Varian. You are just unique. One of a kind. And people like your father don’t always understand that. They don’t understand us. But you must never let others take away what makes you special. Yes, you need to listen more closely to your father- he is trying to keep you safe, but don’t live in fear of what others think. Don’t live in fear of being who you are.”

“Okay,” Varian mumbled, once again looking at his knees. 

“You know what’ll cheer you up?” Ulla asked.

Varian frowned. “What momma?”

“Well it just so happens, I have a friend who has come to visit. Say hello to the tickle monster.” Ulla began tickling her son's sides.

“Momma, no, stop,” Varian clutched his sides giggling uncontrollably. 

A few minutes later, as they walked home hand in hand, Varian decided he wanted to ask his mom a question.

“Momma, what makes me unique?”

Ulla smiled down at her son. “That’s an easy one. You’re unbelievably curious and smart. You want to know everything about everything. And you’re willing to go to any length to get answers.”

Varian nodded. “I like answers.”

Ulla chuckled. “I know son.”

With that Varian launched into a long list of questions he’d apparently been wondering about, but hadn’t asked yet. 

Ulla smiled. Her son would be okay. She’d gotten through to him. Now if only she could do the same with her husband.

~~~~~~

Turns out, Ulla didn’t need to get through to her husband, because he apologized to Varian as soon as they got home. Varian had smiled sheepishly, and then had run off to his room to play.

After their son had left, Quirin turned to his wife. “I’m sorry Ulla. I lost control.”

“You did,” Ulla stated. 

“I just… I didn’t want him to get hurt.”

Ulla frowned. “But he did Quirin. Maybe not physically, but you screaming at him like that- that hurt our son.”

Quirin nodded. “I know. I regret it- trust me I do.”

Ulla sighed. “I just don’t want our son to grow up afraid of you, Quirin.”

Quirin gasped and made to object, but Ulla stopped him by putting up her hand. 

“Let me finish…. I don’t mean he’d be afraid of you hurting him- he knows you love him, but that he’d grow up afraid of your rejection. Of never gaining your approval.”

Quirin nodded sadly. “I understand.”

“No,” Ulla sighed. “I don’t think you do.”

Quirin flinched.

“Our son is a bright light, a curious ball of energy. And yes we must protect him, but we must also be careful not to snuff that curiosity out. Otherwise, Varian won’t be Varian anymore. He’ll be who we want him to be, instead of who he actually is. I don’t want our son to grow up feeling like he has to seek out our approval. So while I agree that Varian needs discipline, we need to do it in a way in which he can continue to feel loved and accepted.”

Quirin nodded. “I just… I just worry, Ulla.”

Ulla laid a hand on her husband’s hand. “I know.”

~~~~~~

Months later, Ulla was seeing drastic improvement in Quirin and Varian’s relationship. Her husband was being much more open to Varian trying to experiment with new things, but still made sure to keep a close eye on him so as to prevent him from getting hurt. 

Ulla was becoming increasingly busy with her own research, but it seemed that even with her spending less time with the two of them, that their relationship was growing. It was time, Ulla decided.

That night, as she tucked Varian into bed, she removed her goggles that she always wore. “Varian?” she asked. “Do you remember ‘the incident’ from when you tried to make a baking soda volcano on your own?”

Varian nodded. Of course he remembered. He would always remember that.

“Well son, part of the reason why that was such an… unpleasant… experience was you weren’t wearing proper lab safety equipment.” With this she handed her goggles to her son. 

“But momma, these are yours,” Varian gasped as he gingerly took the goggles in his hands.

“I have another pair, son.” Ulla smiled. “But I want you to have these so you can start your own experiments. Test the boundaries of science, make new discoveries, but most of all- never lose your sense of wonder.”

Her 4-year-old son stared up at her. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Plus if I encouraged you to experiment without providing you with the proper safety equipment, your father would kill me.” Ulla chuckled.

Varian smirked. “You wouldn’t let him. You’d use science to stop him.”

Ulla sighed. “Yes, I suppose I could. But anyhow, I want you to have these so that you know you have my support in your quest for discovery.”

Varian frowned. “Won’t you just be there to remind me?”

Ulla gave her son a sad smile. “I will always support you Varian, but I’m afraid my research is leading me on a quest. I’m going to go away for awhile. But your father loves you, and will be here to take care of you. And I know you’ll take care of him.”

Varian threw his arms around his mother. Ulla returned the hug. 

“You’ll come back though right?”

“Of course, Varian. I can’t wait to see all the wonderful things you discover.”

~~~~~~

Ulla did not come back from her quest. No one ever knew why. Or at least, no one that would tell Varian.

After the news of his mother’s supposed death, Quirin closed himself off from his son. Varian found himself spending more and more time alone in his room, working on his experiments. 

After the eighth explosion, Quirin had given him his lab. Not much was said- just a comment about “that way we’ll at least have a house,” but there was no anger behind it. Just a dull numbness that honestly frightened Varian. So he hid away in his lab.

The worst part was, he had no idea what happened. Dad wouldn’t talk about it, and one look at his face was enough to keep Varian from pressing. All he knew was his mom went on some sort of trip for some sort of research, and died. 

A few months after it happened, Varian awoke in the middle of the night to a loud crash of thunder. Grabbing his blanket, he decided to creep down the hall to his father’s room. The storm outside was more terrifying than the one inside after all.

Except when Varian pushed open his dad’s door with a quiet knock, he didn’t find his dad asleep in bed like he thought. 

Instead, his father was sitting on the floor in front of their family photo, tears streaming down his face. 

“Dad?” Varian whispered.

Quirin startled, quickly wiping his eyes before turning to face his son.

“Yes, Varian?”

Varian sat beside his dad, draping the blanket around them both as he sat down. Leaning his head against his dad’s shoulder he murmured, “I miss her too.”

Quirin nodded, the tears returning to his eyes. Wrapping his arm gently around his son, he pulled him close. His wife was gone, but Varian was still here. His son was still alive, and he would do whatever it took to protect him.

~~~~~~

Years later, Varian would forget the details of his childhood. He would remember snippets like his mom’s fingers carding through his hair when he was sick, or the traumatic events of the baking soda volcano gone wrong, or his dad’s warm hugs whenever he had nightmares. But he couldn’t remember the details of his mother’s death. 

He didn’t remember her quest or her research. He remembered she loved experimenting with him, but assumed that it was because he loved alchemy and she wanted to make him happy. He knew the goggles he wore were hers, and he cherished them because of it, but he didn’t remember receiving them. He remembered almost nothing about her. 

But Quirin remembered. He remembered his strong-willed, intelligent wife who had compassion for everyone. He was reminded of her every day when he saw his son. 

He remembered her desire for their son to grow up with his curiosity nurtured, so Quirin bought his son alchemy supplies when he asked for them. Even when Varian’s experiments went horribly wrong, he would scold him, but then let him continue. Because that’s what Ulla would have wanted.

Of course he did his best to make sure Varian wasn’t trying anything too dangerous (with more or less success as his son’s interest in alchemy grew). After the first set of chemical burns, Quirin bought his son a heavy duty set of gloves and apron, because even though he wanted his son to succeed, he still wanted him to be safe if he failed. 

He was doing his best, but he couldn’t help but feel as though his best wasn’t always good enough. But he was trying- he really was. He was doing his best to walk the fragile line between nurturing his son’s interests and protecting him from life-threatening disaster. It was… difficult sometimes. He wishes Ulla were here. 

But Ulla is gone. Varian is still here, and he needs him. So Quirin continues to try his best and prays it is enough. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I would like to formally apologize for writing this.... 
> 
> My best friend told me, "Don't apologize.... The heart wants what the heart wants..., and yours just wants to be sad." Based on my fanfic repertoire, I guess she has a point.... 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
